Freedom Riders: from Alabama to Africa

“How wonderful it is that no one need wait a single moment to start improving the world” Anne Frank

What an emotional week this has been. I have been inspired and motivated by storytelling so compelling that it brought on personal feelings of disbelief, astonishment, anger, compassion, and admiration. Tuesday night, I had an opportunity to meet Stanley Nelson the producer of “Freedom Riders.” Stanley had come to Saint Louis, at the request of Nine Network, for a private screening of his extraordinary documentary movie about the 1961 civil rights movement that eventually led to the 1964 Civil Rights Act designed to abolish segregation throughout America. The movie is so well done. It is a powerful reminder of the shameful acts of violence and hatred carried out against non-violent African-Americans and white supporters in Montgomery, Alabama and throughout the south. But it is far more than that. It is story of “heroism” of mammoth proportion. The film clips that we viewed left me with a sense of awe and admiration for the young people of that time. They sacrificed everything for what they believed was absolutely necessary as they faced almost certain injury or even death. Freedom Riders will be shown on PBS stations throughout the country on May 16, 2011.

I believe you will soon be hearing more about the movie Freedom Riders because Oprah Winfrey will feature Stanley Nelson and his movie. She has also invited all 150 living original Freedom Riders to her studios for one of her last televised shows. Of the 436 originals activists who rode on more than 60 bus rides only 150 riders are living today.

Then, early Wednesday morning I departed for Chicago to attend a three-day Advisors in Philanthropy conference. I was attending at the invitation of a friend, Chris Jacob, who owns a company called Cadeau. Chris is a wealth advisor and many of his clients are high net-worth individuals. My expectations of long days, boring meetings listening to financial advisors who would speak of sophisticated ways for wealthy people to avoid taxation via legal clever methods was totally unfounded. Instead, I found to my surprise, none of the speakers talked about such tactics. Instead, they spoke about their desires to benefit the people they serve. The entire two days was focused on the potential of philanthropy to benefit communities around the world. The two days of key-note speeches and multiple seminars addressed lofty topics like, how to teach our children and grandchildren to be philanthropist. For those interested in teaching children why giving is important I recommend www.youthgive.org I suggest that you search the website for stories told by children who want to help homeless people in the United States or those who lack water in Africa and throughout the world.

Another fascinating topic covered in these seminars is the art of storytelling. A fantastic “storyteller” himself, Scott Farnsworth, President of Sunbridge Financial Advisors, told us how an old letter from his deceased mother was a pivotal moment in his life leading to the creation of “precious moments.” Farnsworth teaches financial advisors and estate planners how to touch hearts, change lives, and connect families using elegant practical tools and systems for legacy building story sharing and deeper relationships. I had dinner with Scott and his two business partners. This year they are working with only three customers…each of these families have a net worth between $25million- $125million. The major challenge in every case is not how to protect the financial assets against unnecessary taxation. That’s the easy part according to the advisors. The hard part is getting the family to talk about family values, issues of importance to each person, distribution of wealth to benefit these issues of importance, structures to promote organizational accountability and family member participation. This theme was consistent from speaker to speaker and workshop to workshop. This was truly an inspirational opportunity to examine my own gift giving process and procedure. As a professional fund-raiser this workshop has challenged my skills and my strategies as I seek to demonstrate the potential impact that public media can play in collaboration with other organizations to benefit people in my community and beyond.   

“There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life–happiness, freedom, and peace of mind–are always attained by giving them to someone else.” Peyton Conway

One of the interesting findings that I discovered in one workshop was research that indicated that 65% of high net-worth families questioned in the study say their greatest fear is that inheriting wealth will harm their children. And, there is ample evidence to indicate this is a legitimate concern. According to the study 70% of intergenerational wealth transfers fail by the end of the successor generation. The primary reasons for this failure are poor family communication and inadequate preparation.

Another interesting finding was learned from author Stephen Post, the director of the Center for Medical Humanities, Stony Brook University. In his latest book, The Hidden Gifts of Helping he extols the health benefits of altruism not just for the receiver, but for the giver as well. Giving, claims Post, extends life span, relieves stress, improves mental health, and helps the heart.

And so my take away from this past exhausting week is that the greatest human need is the feeling that our lives have significance. And one certain path to gaining significance is to be a “giver.”   

“You must be the change you wish in the world.” –Mahatma Gandhi

Where to begin?

January 2011-Lay of the Land

Our oldest son Craig and his wife Nicole and family, Olivia, Evan and Ella are living in Springfield, Illinois. They are planning another busy year with kids activities, vacations, and the usual trials and tribulations.

Brian, Jen and Fisher are living in Portland, Oregon. Jen’s new business start-up, Rawdacious, shows promise. Brian is busy traveling to and from Guemes Island where he has multiple construction projects lined up for the new year. Fisher is doing well in school.

Todd and Jessica have been on a great adventure. Jessica accepted a new job recruiting students for her Alma Mater, Maryville University. Her territory is California. Todd and Jessica moved to San Diego. Then, great news! Todd found a new job opportunity. All is well in sunny California.

Kelly and Mark have big plans for 2011. Kelly is pregnant, due in May. Their daughter, Rumi, will be 3 yrs. in March. Kelly and Mark have decided to build a new house on their acreage on Guemes Island. They will need to move into a rental home on Anacortes until the new home is built.

Brent left Saint Louis in October last year. He’s planning for a new life in Boulder, Colorado. From the latest report, he’s on track. He found a great log cabin home on a farm overlooking the mountains. Sounds good.

Kerry and Kris have big plans as well. Kerry is pregnant, due in March. Kris has a new opportunity working on the next United States America’s Cup entry. This will be the fastest sail boat in the world. Oracle has offered him a three-year contract. They will need to move to San Francisco shortly after the new baby is born. Sienna is getting ready for her new baby brother.

So, that’s it, our family has BIG PLANS. What could go wrong?

January 18 – Catholic Charities Midtown announces a need to downsize. Sandy looses her job.

January 21 – Kelly calls home to ask her Mom for help. Sandy will soon be headed to the West Coast to help pack up Kelly’s house on Guemes for a move to Anacortes.

February 18- Sandy leaves for Seattle. The plan is to meet Jen and Fisher at the airport, then to take Fisher for a spring break vacation with his dad on Guemes. The plan is to meet with Kerry and Sienna for a while. Then help Kelly with the move. Hang out with Brian and Fisher. Then return on March 3. Well, that was the PLAN.

February 20 – A tornado quickly passes through St. Louis. At 2:00am I hear a loud noise. Sounds like a tree limb on the roof top. I go back to sleep.

February 21 – That noise was not a limb on the roof. It was my dining room ceiling crashing down from the weight of water on top of the dining room table. Glass and water everywhere. Looks like a plumbing issue to me since the ceiling hole is directly under the second floor bathroom.

February 22- The plumbing company comes out to investigate. Thirty minutes and $62.00 later the plumber says this damage is rain related. But, how did the rain get to that spot on my ceiling with no other sign of rain? It’s an unresolved mystery.

February 23- Happy 43rd Anniversary Sandy. Oh, wait a minute. She is on Guemes Island helping Kelly. And, Sandy is worried about our youngest daughter, Kerry.  Her pregnancy has been difficult, especially the last few months. And, now, Kerry’s blood pressure is unusually high. Very  high. The mid-wife is  concerned.

February 24- Kelly, now six months pregnant, gets back lab results to learn that she has gestational diabetes.

February 25 – Heavy rain storm hits Saint Louis. It rains all night. Most of it ends up in our house. Mystery solved.

February 26- I discover rain damage. Water dripping from the kitchen ceiling, dining room ceiling, dining room windows, walls, ornate hardwood floor has buckled badly, second floor bath has water damage in the walls. Water from the third floor to the second floor to the basement,  It’s dripping everywhere. Time to call the insurance company. The $1,000 deductible has clearly been surpassed.

February 28 – Sandy predicts that Kerry will have her baby a few weeks early. She is too concerned about Kerry’s health to care much about the swimming pool in her house.

March 2 – Sandy, and Kerry head to the emergency room with Sienna. Sienna has a severe case of pink eye. Worse case, Sandy has ever seen in twenty-three years as a Peds RN.

March 3 – Kerry discovers a rat (a very large mouse) has entered her kitchen. Of course, Sandy loves living with this undesired visitor. The three dogs–Madrona, Ceilo, and Buddy should keep this guy out of the house.

March 4- Kerry goes into labor. She has chosen a natural home birth. The mid-wife is on the way. Kris is headed back from San Francisco. Sandy and Sienna will “sleep” in one room while the baby is delivered in the other bed room. At 2:00am, Sebastian is born. He’s a healthy 7 lb. baby boy. Kerry is ok too. I make plans to go see my newest grandchild.

March 8 – At 4:00am Sandy calls me to tell me she is seeing “pink elephants.” Two hours later I get another phone call. She is leaving the emergency room. Sandy had a 104 temp. She fell in the bath tub hitting her face on the faucet. She refused stitches. She has a mild concussion, lacerations to the face, scarlet fever and strep throat. She  needs bed rest and, of course, she has to stay away from Sebastian, Sienna, Rumi, Fisher and parents too.

March 9 – Kris and Sienna both have eye infections. By this time Sandy knows the pharmacist on a first name basis. That’s not a good sign when you are an out-of-town visitor.

March 15 – Brian has an accidental fall and breaks the eye socket bone. He may need surgery.

March 16- Mid-wife examines Kerry to find a growth in her lower chest area. She’s concerned and orders a cat-scan.

March 17 – Happy St. Patrick’s Day. I leave St. Louis at 6:00am headed to Seattle.

March 18 – Good news. Brian will not require surgery. He was lucky. The fracture will heal on its own. His multiple construction projects on Guemes will continue as planned.

March 23- Kerry has a ultra-sound instead of the cat-scan and the test results are good. Nothing to worry about for now. She will leave for San Francisco as planned.

March 25- Rumi turns three today. We spend the morning helping Kerry and Kris pack up the 22 foot rental truck for San Fran. They leave for California on Saturday. We have lunch with them and then Sandy and I head to Seattle to spend the night.

March 26 – We wake at 4:00am by an error to catch a 7:00am flight back to Saint Louis. She travels by Delta through Minneapolis. I’m returning on Southwest via Chicago. We learn later that Saint Louis is getting an unexpected snow storm. Our flights are delayed. We finally arrive in STL. Sandy gets to see her ‘home soaked home” for the first time. The remodeling company has accomplished nothing since I left 10 days ago. We had planned to have new gutters put up while we were out-of-town. So, much for PLANS.

March 28- I wonder what happens next…

Blessed by Another Year

Last week I visited one of my favorite places for lunch–Gioa’s Deli, located across from Berra Park. They offer great sandwiches, chips and drinks. Try it, you’ll like it. Of course, Berra Park was named for the New York Yankees Hall of Fame catcher Yogi Berra. Yogi played baseball at that little park in a small Italian neighborhood on the western edge of St. Louis–the area is affectionately referred to as “the Hill.”

There are many funny baseball stories involving the famous Yogi Berra. Here’s one more. When catching a game in Yankee Stadium one day, Yogi became increasingly more annoyed by an opposing team player who made the “sign of the cross” each time he came to the plate. The day was hot and the game was slow. This guy wasn’t helping to move things along any faster. When the player came to the plate for the fourth time and he made the “sign” ever so slowly, Yogi snapped, “Hey buddy, why don’t you stop doing that and just let God watch the game.”

You know sometimes I’m like that guy who annoyed Yogi. I call upon God only when I come to the plate, only when I face a tough situation, only when I need something? My God, then, is a very distant aloof God. He’s called upon only when I need a miracle, when I need strength, when I need help. I don’t know about you but maybe I should invite God into my life on a daily basis. To know Him better would probably be a good thing.

How is your relationship with God? Are you adamant in you beliefs and unwavering in your convictions? Yes, that would be ideal, but…my world is rich in everything, except clarity in the area of faith and spirituality.  Albert Einstein once said, “God does not play dice with the universe.” Einstein accepted the notion of a Creator but was stymied with the problem of good and evil. He concluded there must be a Creator, but he agonized over  the personality of that Designer. Do you ever agonize over the personality of the Designer? At times, I do.

It seems reasonable for me to believe that we are creatures created by God. There is a purpose for our lives with eternal implications. We are not cosmic accidents with no purpose but the grave. Each person then is a unique soul. Each life then has great value. Why then doesn’t the Designer cover each of us with a layer of self-assurance and a sense of peace? As I take a close look at those I know best, I can find a few people with deep faith convictions, people with a healthy self-assurance, people filled with internal peace. These people all seem to have a close relationship with God. As I reflect on the past year, I think I would like to be more like those people. Yea, that would be good.

Who ever coined the cliché, “Life is short” certainly knew what he/she was talking about. As this year comes to an end and another begins I reflect upon how fast a year can pass.  I recall my favorite days on vacation with family and the joy of accomplishing something important with co-workers. I see clearly the connectedness of actions of the past that lead to opportunities today. I’m reminded of life’s fragile nature. I’m reminded frequently that each day counts. Everything I say and do has consequences.  I can’t replay yesterday. I can do something worth doing today.

I believe we are at our best when we’re climbing, thinking, planning, working–when we are trying to bring about something worthwhile, especially something that will benefit others. I am blessed to have such opportunities in 2011. As we bring this year to an end and begin another, I pray that my friends and family may be embraced by God. I pray that they find something worth doing, then do it with a strong sense of purpose. I pray that they have the courage to love one another, forgive one another, encourage one another, and lend a helping hand when necessary.

Happy New Year!