Category Archives: Lessons In Life

Rose Colored Glasses

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I’m going to start this message with a quote that I just discovered recently…

“I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.” Martha Washington (First Lady of the United States of America, 1731-1802)

I love that quote. It’s message is consistent with something I learned as a young man. Someone gave me a book by Martin Kehoe, entitled Your Greatest Power, and the lessons from that book have stayed with me for a lifetime. Your greatest power, according to Kehoe, is the power to choose.  You can choose to be enthusiastic and positive about your life and your opportunities or you can choose not to be. You can choose to be happy or you can choose not to be.

Once in my career, my boss was asking me for an assessment of  a particularly difficult situation. After voicing my opinion,  which was rather upbeat and positive, he accused me of seeing the world through “rose-colored glasses.” He saw the situation through a different set of lenses, one of a pessimist, or as he would put it, a realist. His point was well taken. There are indeed, times when a realistic point of view is necessary.  There are hard times when it would be inappropriate to conclude that one can just change their thinking and things will improve immediately. However, more times than not, that is exactly what you need to do. And it can be done. I remain steadfast in my belief that almost every circumstance can be improved by just thinking about it in a positive way.

So, now that I am older, I have seen many of life’s seasons and cycles. Sandy and I have been flat broke and we have been financially secure.  I know what it means to be unemployed, under-employed, over-qualified, under-qualified. I’ve been lucky and unlucky. I have been the organization hero and I have been the opposite. Through it all I have been blessed with an ability to find the positive side of almost every situation. That attitude prevails, it smothers everything in its wake. A person with a positive attitude sees possibilities through rose-colored glasses. That positive self-expectancy affects situations. It moves situations in a positive direction. Good things happen. I wish it was easy to pass on a positive mental attitude from generation to generation.

My career has taken me to the field of philanthropy. My role is that of a professional fundraiser. What a great field for the incurable optimist–a perfect fit for me, my skills, my passions, my enthusiasm for life and for finding the good in others. I am so blessed to have the opportunity to meet successfully people who have learned the most valuable lesson of life. The truly successful people live by one of my favorite quotes– “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”   Winston Churchill

So it is that generous giving of one’s time, talent or treasure that is the greatest of life’s pleasures. A truly successful life is not measured by how much a person can accumulate or by your financial net worth.  At death, all of the toys in the world are useless. The only thing that might last forever is what you have given away. No one knows that lesson better than Ben Franklin.

In 1790 Benjamin Franklin left $4,000 jointly to the city of Philadelphia and the state of Pennsylvania. He left instructions that the money should be conservatively invested, but not withdrawn for 200 years after his death.

In 1990 this fund had grown to $1,500,000–375 times its original value. Today that money provides scholarships at Penn College and funds several charitable foundations. Because of his remarkable insight,  Benjamin Franklin continues to benefit thousands of lives even though he has been dead for more than 200 years.

So if you find yourself down on your luck, take a breather, if you must. Then, dust yourself off. Begin anew. Act enthusiastic. Be enthusiastic. Act positive. Be positive. Make something happen-one day at a time.

Don’t waste your time obsessing over what is unfair or unfortunate about
your situation. Put all your energy into what you can do, into the
positive steps you can take, and deliver yourself to wherever you wish
to be.   Ralph Marston

And finally, I leave with this from legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden, who passed away this past year just shy of his 100 year birthday.

John Wooden was a special man, the likes of which only come along rarely.  His athletic career and coaching record are unmatched, but his real-life achievements are in the area of personal and human development. He was fond of saying, “Talent is God-given.  Be humble.  Fame is man-given.  Be grateful.  Conceit is self-given.  Be careful.”

God bless each of you, not that you live without difficulties and struggles, but rather that you pray when you feel overwhelmed and helpless, and that you work as if the whole world depends upon your humble effort.

Extraordinary Importance

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I am one of the hundreds of millions of people living on this earth. One person of many nationalities, languages,ethnic origins, and diverse personalities. I am a miniscule speck in the history of mankind, and yet, my faith tells me I am of extraordinary importance to God.

God has created every human being so that no matter what country one is born, no matter what skin color a person has, no matter what religion or lack of religion one possessed at birth, no matter what political beliefs one has today, no matter what financial wealth or lack of wealth one has, God loves you and God loves me. Now, this is an extraordinary thought. What amazing possibilities, if true. At some point in time every person must decide for themselves, do you believe it, or do you not?

I have heard the idea of God’s love expressed this way…the greatest law of love was made clear by God when He said, “Love the Lord your God with your whole heart, mind, and soul; and your neighbor as yourself”. In saying this He was putting all of the Ten Commandments in a nutshell. If all Ten Commandments can be summarized in this one great commandment then perhaps an examination of our lives can be assessed by asking ourselves how our daily activities demonstrate our love of God through actions toward friends, family, neighbors, clients and work associates.

I saw a poster some years ago with a dirty little defiant-looking kid on it and the caption under the photo read “God made me and God don’t make junk”. I thought, wouldn’t it be great if every child had that poster in their bedroom as a reminder that God made them and they are very important–just as they are today.

Children and people of all ages need higher self-esteem, confidence and assurance that they are loved just as they are, no changes necessary, no strings attached. They need to be reminded that God loves them and therefore everything is possible.

This past year has been an extremely difficult year for many of my friends and business associates and some members of my immediate family. These people have lost their jobs. Job hunting is difficult, money is lacking, bills keep coming, uncertainty grows, the pressure mounts and so it continues. When I am asked for advice I try to help. I can offer suggestions about how to make the job hunt more fruitful.  I can offer to help with new contacts or references. I can help family members with a small short-term loan. But, I recognize my ability to be helpful is limited. In the end, each person must find their own way. This is a challenging time and perhaps it’s a good time to find out if God really loves you.

Examine your own capabilities. What skills and talents do you have? Of what value are they? How can they be applied in new situations? Look around at the resources you have available. Are friends and family willing to help you? Is there hope for the future? Will your life be better or worse five years from now?

Years ago Sandy and I owned a weekend home in a wooded area with lakes nearby. Flocks of geese would fly over the house frequently. I’ve been told that when geese fly in formation they are 70% more efficient than if they fly alone. The geese in the back honk encouragement to the leaders to inspire them to fly faster. When the leader gets tired he moves back allowing another goose with more energy to take the lead. These geese seem to understand the value of family togetherness and teamwork. This is clearly a case where God made geese to respond this way. It’s in their nature to act as team players. Why is it that we, so often, try to fly alone?

Lord, give me the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference. (Alcoholics Anonymous prayer)

Lord, I shall live this day but once, any good therefore, that I can show to any human being let me do it now. For I will not pass this way again. (Anonymous)

“Never dwell on what we have lost; instead look at what we have left.” (Robert Schuler)

“It isn’t where you’re coming from but where you are going that counts.” (Ella Fitzgerald)

“It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.” (John Wooden)

“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. The myth is more important than history.  That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And, I believe that love is stronger than death.” (Robert Fulghum)

Commit your works to the Lord and your plan will be established. (Proverbs 16:3)

In the end, did you make the world a better place?

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“Many people die with the music still in them.” Oliver Wendell Holmes

I remember reading that Oliver Wendell Holmes quote some forty plus years ago. I said to myself then, “I will not be one of those people who die with the music still in them.” In recent days I have been thinking more and more about the end of life. Perhaps, it is because my Mom died this past January.  My father turned age 87 this month. I see him struggle to do normal things like walk, talk, hear, eat, go the bathroom, stand-up, sit down–everything is a struggle. Life is difficult. This past week a co-worker’s father died unexpectedly at the age of 57.  My daughter in-law lost her uncle to cancer last month. Death and issues of old age seem to be all around me in recent days. And, reflections about death, dying, growing old have been on my mind for several months.

At the same time, I am quick to recognize that life is full of wonderment and opportunity.  This past Sunday, I  attended the birthday celebration of Anna. She is celebrating her 100th year. Anna is full of positive energy. She lives in an independent living facility. She routinely cooks meals for the “old people” as she refers to them. Anna is the perfect example of positive thinking becoming positive living. She has lived a life worth emulating. She’s an inspiration. Her pleasant smile and love for others radiates as she embraces everyone she meets. Anna has made her world a better place.

Singer and song writer from my era, Joan Baez wrote,You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die, or when, you can only decide how you are going to live now.”

Ten years ago I met a career consultant named Tony. He suggested that I write a personal mission statement. He also recommended that I write a letter to myself describing “me.” What makes me tick? What are my skills? What qualities and characteristics do I have? What’s important to me? What are my personal values? If I could decide how I was going to live, as Joan Baez put it, what would I choose?

This exercise helped me to crystallize my personal career objectives and, more so, it helped me to think seriously about how my life (and, everyone’s life) might be measured in terms of making the world a better place.

My life is a gift, a treasure, not to be squandered. I am blessed to have good health and the energy to do something useful. I have opportunities all around me. I only have to convince myself that I can choose how I will live this day and the next and the day after. Everyday we are given new opportunities to make a positive difference. So, to the extent that it is possible, I recommend that we emulate Anna. Become a positive person in your home, in the workplace, in your place of worship, wherever you are, whatever situation you may find yourself in–smile, be upbeat, be full of enthusiasm, give your time and energy to something worthwhile, make things happen, be a doer, not a complainer.

In 2000 I wrote this Mission Statement–

To live my life committed to serving God, family, friends, co-workers, business associates, clients and customers. To show my appreciation for the talents and gifts God has given me through prayerful thanksgiving and dedicated effort. To be committed. To make a difference. To be a positive influence. To bring dignity to others.  One day at a time. One prayer at a time.

I re-read my mission statement periodically to help me get focused, to help me stay motivated, to help me re-dedicate myself to important objectives, to help me discard things of lessor importance. Each person must decide how they intend to live, how they intend to measure their own life’s accomplishments.  I believe our “mission,” written or not, will be clearly demonstrated through our words, thoughts and actions. In the end we will accomplish only what we believe we can accomplish. As Henry Ford said, “If you think you can or you think you can’t, you are exactly right.”

There are so many opportunities available today to make a difference–to make the world better. I encourage my children, my friends, my grandchildren to decide that you will make the world a better place. Choose a worthwhile objective. Convince yourself that you can make a difference. You can do it!