Love, Death and Giving Thanks

This past month I read three books and I’ve started on a fourth. The titles will give you some idea of the things of greatest interest to me at this time in my life. I read a book called Bounce. It’s all about rebounding from tough times. It’s a fast read, a good book with sound advice for business owners or individuals who need to turn around and head in a more productive direction. The second book I picked up because a friend of mine had worked with the author. Her name, Kay Sprinkel Grace, her book,  Over Goal! It’s a terrific book with great suggestions for a fundraising professional or any person seriously involved in non-for-profit philanthropy. The third book is called Love & Death, by Forrest Church, and was also recommended by a friend. In this month’s message from the7thinning blog, it is this last book I would like to tell you about.

Ironically, in the past six months I have lost three friends and business acquaintances, all unexpected deaths, each person was in my age group. Vern, a highly respected pediatrician, Bruce, a marketing/advertising professional and George, the owner of an executive search firm. Isn’t it strange that at the time of another person’s death, we reflect on their life?  It is a brief reflection looked upon through tinted lens.  Because at the same time, we acknowledge ourselves, and begin to recognize our own mortality. And then, consequently, we begin to question our own values and lifestyle.

As I reflect on the lives of these three friends, I am reminded of the countless hours they devoted to serving others through their chosen occupations. I’m also reminded of  how each person sought and found some balance in life through either long travels  or just simple weekend hikes. Although each of these men died at an early age, I must believe they are resting in peace. They lived their lives as servant leaders. What more can be done?

The author, Forest Church, whom I mentioned earlier, writes this advice….”want what you have, do what you can. Be you who are.”

For many, this past year was a financial crisis. Some people lost their jobs, some companies lost customers and business revenue, some non-profit organizations lost donors and investors. For others, the grief of lost loved ones was a higher form of crisis. At these times, the normal human response is to have a heightened sense of life’s fragility.

If we are fortunate enough to survive a time of crisis and come through it with a renewed commitment to be of service to others, we are indeed blessed from above. Let’s recognize that for all of us, our lives will end in the middle of the story. Life seems to last forever but really it’s over in a flash. So, we need to prioritize our unfinished business. We need to make peace with ourselves and loved ones. We need to “sanctify what we are grateful for.”

Now, is a good time to be grateful. Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving Prayers

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”
– Meister Eckhart

“We sanctify all we are grateful for.”
– Anthony DeMello SJ

My, How Time Flies

I was born Easter Sunday, April 21, 1946. Harry Truman was President of the United States. The St. Louis Cardinals beat the Boston Red Sox to win the World Series. The Chicago Bears won the NFL Championship, of course, that was before Super Bowls. The DJI was at 1189. You could buy a loaf of bread for 10 cents,  a gallon of gas for 15 cents, a gallon of milk for 70 cents, and the average price of a new home was $5600.

The Oscar winning movie that year was “The Best Years of Our Lives.” Frederic March won the Oscar for best actor and he starred in that movie.

Olivia de Havilland won the best actress Oscar for her role in a movie called “To Each His Own.”  Although I have never seen either movie, I prefer the title of the later.

This past year has certainly been interesting. I joined Holmes Radford & Avalon, a fund-raising consultant firm, on November 3rd, 2008. Jim Radford, the President  of HRA asked me, “How do you feel about today’s economy?” I replied, “We have a choice. We can be calm or we can panic. I choose to be calm.” I’ve been calm all year even though the economy has created a bumpy ride.

Jim asked me to put my thoughts on paper. So, together, we co-authored an article about philanthropy in this economy. We made the point that you can either believe television hype claiming that politicians and corporate greed have crippled our economy or you can get focused on the facts.

Our markets have not ceased to function, our economy had not collapsed, commerce still continues for all essential goods and services, most Americans are still employed, most companies are still operating aggressively, Americans had just elected a new President and change is forthcoming.

We also said, “Although the extraordinary turbulence in our financial markets is real and most definitely will have a temporary negative impact, we believe with every adversity comes new opportunity. We recommended that every non-profit organization (our clients) needed to return to their “mission” with resolve, crafting new strategies for strengthening revenue and refocusing effort. In other words, be calm, but go to work with a sense of urgency.

Jim and I did not know at the time we made those suggestions, just how much we, individually and collectively, were going to be tested. Now, one year later, I can share this information. Holmes Radford & Avalon has just experienced the most challenging year in company history. We have gone through downsizing, salary cuts, salary freezes, and cut backs in every expense area. For a period this year, the phones were dead, prospects wouldn’t return our phone calls, and new business had all but disappeared. Our existing clients and the few new projects that we did aquire were just enough to keep the doors open.

As our business revenue declined and our personal income shrank, we, and everyone associated with HRA, were forced to examine our “mission.” Jim Radford had created Holmes Radford & Avalon with a personal mission of serving clients as he himself wished to be served. He would treat his clients with integrity pouring himself into each project with the goal of raising philanthropic donations to meet his clients objectives. Jim was unwavering in his demand that HRA would do everything within our power to exceed client expectations, despite the economic downturn. Finally, after six difficult months, the phone has begun to ring again. Multiple new projects have been signed. Work is underway. We are busy. The recession has passed (it seems). HRA has survived. Although it will be several more months before we can look back on this time and truly exhale, we believe the toughest time is in the past.

As I look back on the past twelve months, as tough as it’s been,  I can easily recall more difficult times for me and my family. I remember rummaging through old files some years ago and I came across a hand written note to myself. It read, “I have $207.03, some cash value life insurance, no car, no job.”  That was November 7, 1977.

My note went on the read, “At age 31, with four kids and $1,300 net overhead things look dismal.  But…I know everything will eventually turn out well for us.”

Even on a larger scale these were not “unprecedented times.” Think back to The Great Depression, World War ll, Vietnam, the 70’s malaise, the 1987 recession, the bursting tech bubble or more recent catastrophic events such as the September 11 terrorist attacks or the devastation of hurricane Katrina, and yet, media mania would have us believe that our current economic mess will go on endlessly. Don’t believe them. These times will pass. As Mark Twain once observed, “History does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.”

I have long enjoyed the reputation as a “positive thinker.” Some people who know me well would say I see the world through “rose-colored glasses” implying that I am too positive to the point of being unrealistic. Whatever the case, I’ll have to admit this past year has truly tested my resolve. It forced me to review my personal mission statement written some seven or eight years ago. It reads:

My Mission

To live my life serving God, family, friends, associates, clients with unwavering commitment and dedicated effort. To show my appreciation for the talents and gifts God has given me through prayerful thanksgiving. To make a difference in someone’s life. To be a positive influence. To bring dignity to others. To do it one day at a time, one prayer at a time, with enthusiasm.

As I write this I have no idea what the immediate economic future will bring. Things may get worse, they may get better. But, I believe, now is the time to be calm. Stick to you plans, strengthen your resolve, be motivated by the importance of your personal mission.

With positive self expectancy I recall the words of Ella Fitzgerald when she said, “it isn’t where you’re coming from, it’s where you’re going that counts”.

Finally, I leave you with two of my favorite quotes:

“Peace is not something you wish for;  it is something you give away.” Robert Fulghum

And then from the heart of a little nine-year old girl, Nora, a big voice reverberates, “Dear God, I don’t feel alone since I found out about you.” Children’s Letters to God

Happy Anniversary to Mark and Kelly

It’s now been four years since my daughter Kelly and her beau said, “I do.” A few weeks before their special day Kelly asked me to say something during the wedding ceremony. The setting was magnificent. Mark and Kelly were married on the beach at Guemes Island, Washington. Mt. Baker was in the background. As the sun set on the day it cast a beautiful bright glaze against the snow covered mountain top.  It was a perfect day for an island wedding.  Family and friends were gathered around the makeshift alter. The grooms mother, a Christian minister, performed the ceremony. She did so with just the right amount of minister professionalism with a dash of an emotional Mom. When it came my turn to speak I was honored to offer this blessing on their behalf.

Blessing for Mark and Kelly

September 10, 2005

Blessing

Good and gracious God, we offer this collective prayer from family and friends. We ask You to bless the marriage of Mark and Kelly. We ask You to embrace them, love them, and let them feel Your presence on this special day and every day for the rest of their lives.

We ask You Lord, that their marriage be an example to others as to how a man should treat a woman and how a woman should treat a man—with respect, generosity, compassion, and love.

We ask You to bless Mark and Kelly and all who have gathered on Guemes  Island to witness their wedding. These things we ask, in Your name. Amen.

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This simple prayer has been answered these past four years. Mark and Kelly have been blessed many times over with the birth of their first child, a baby girl, named Rumi Kai. She’s beautiful, just like her Mom and Dad. All are in good health. All have been embraced by God.

Mark and Kelly and the Linneman family are proud owners of the Guemes Island Resort. So, they now work on the same grounds that they were married. If you ever vacation on the west coast head to Guemes Island. Say hello to Mark, Kelly and Rumi.

Here’s the best news….Mark and Kelly still treat each other with respect, generosity, compassion, and love. Thank You Lord.